Dream brother, my killer, my lover

I have to say my last goodbyes.

Şarkının sözlerine bakmadan koydum ve farkettim ki daha alakasız bir şarkı koyamazmışım. Etiketlediğim cümle bile o kadar ters ki. Ama siz sözlere bakmayın, sadece dinleyin. Sadece şarkıyı hissedin. Bu sefer sözlerin önemi yok. 

Aslinda bunu tumblrda gordugum bir alinti uzerine yaziyordum. O yuzden ingilizce. Tumblrda daha cok yabanci insanlari takip edip fandomlarla ilgilendigim icin yabanci tercih ediyorum. Ama blog oldu baya, sayfamda kaybolup gitsin istemedim. Dumanlı yazılarımdan oldu biraz. Öyle işte..

Charles Bukowski said "People emty me, I have to get away to refill." But it's unfortunately opposite for me. I have to be with people for refill. I get so emty when I'm alone. I feel so sad about it but I can't do anything about it too. Esspecially when someone's not around I get so emty and I feel it right now. I know I can't see that person any near time. Or ever. This is the feeling when you understand there's gonna be a lot of pain and you can't even do a little piece of thing to change this. You just gotta live with it. You know this is fucking realty and you have to say your last goodbyes. You gotta learn how to live with it. But I say that's fucking insane. I don't want to live with it. I just want my little sunshine. That's what that person is. My spirit and my muse. My moonlight and sunshine. My laugh and my tears. That person is the rainbow which is running inside of me. I'm watching turning it to rain and dust. Dust and black smoke. That person is turning to lies and pains. Turning to feels and pills. Cause since I was born I started to decay. And nothing ever ever goes my way. I gotta say my last goodbyes. But I'm just like "oh not now, please not right now" 

But you're still leaving me. Leaving just like other every single thing in this world. Like leafs leaving this world with sadness and grace. You are leaving me with little pieces of sadness. I will try and dry my eyes. I'd like to say grab a beer and disappear with me but this time I guess I have to disappear all alone. I have to disappear by myself. I have to say my last goodbyes.